drowning

school:

- reopened. and suckier than before. lecture theatres' air conditioners seem to have undergone some repair. they are like blowing air colder than ever before.
- promos are looming. and i'm wasting time in school. bloody crap. why can't they let us have our study break like, earlier? i mean, school's like a total waste of time. physics revision lectures are not even half as effective as my own revision la, hello. chem. can you BELIEVE it? they are not through with the syllabus YET! AH!!!! our exams are coming and you dare say you're not fucking done. er hem. sorry.
- have a lousy chem test tomorrow that i find myself almost totally unprepared for. haiz. and an econs essay outline that i'll write the momnet i pop offline.

don't know why. seem to have slackened in revision efforts. maybe coz school reopened le, then can't marathon mug anymore. i wish i had the ultra long study break. going to mug mug mug mug mug my life away for these two weeks. *shudders* will try la. i mean, must try. these few days keep bringing the wrong tutorials and wrong stuff to classes leh... like go chem then never bring electrolysis tutorial. but then mr lee said he'd go thru the bloody lect quiz mah. aiyah, don't know, don't care le lah. i'm back to the state where it's exams, heck with the teachers, just mug.

chinese orchestra:

-PAYCO stuff is getting more intense than ever before. more scores to print, more practices to attend. thinking of not going down this friday... crap NO! have to go down to photocopys cores. why? coz saturday is MAF. argh. too busy le... but then leh, if i go down on friday night, might be able to meet up or smth... dunno la.
- crap. i forgot to get the chang cheng scores from laoshi for stephanie. she's sp going to kill me >.< sorry girl...

got four tickets to sell for gala concert. anybody interested?

^_^:

-what to say leh. prolly never missed anyone like this before ^_^ it's a weird feeling, missing somebody.








9 more days to GP promos.
16 more days to promos.

for the greater good

random floating thoughts

it's intriguing how some people actually want to hold on to some things too much, too hard, too tightly, that they don't realise that they've been letting things slip past unknowing fingers... or suffocate it. and then the remorse of the matter push them to clutch at it harder at the next opportunity.

it's like you're so blinded with how to cherish what that you don't actually see the where of the entire matter. which can be quite stupid, since sometimes, what you are searching for may be right beside you, neglected as you question the "how?". that's why i say, live life the way you want it. don't think too much. don't question. and live life like the world will end tomorrow. and to learn to let go when the time comes around, or at the climax, just to not see it all deteriorate. maybe it's just me; to have not found something so worth cherishing that giving it up would... i don't know. when you know it is perfectly futile to even hope. maybe something like love?

it scares me that something could have such potential to hurt.

but i guess, for matters as such, it would be good while it lasts.

to die proudly is when you can no longer live proudly.

danger: biohazard

bleargh. i twisted my ankle again. thatw as. erm yesterday. applied medication and wondered why in the world the swelling didn't go down, but instead, the swollen part looks fatter, and i think it's purple isn't it? haiz. apparently, even in applying external chinese medication, there are some rules to abide by. haiz. it seems that i put the medication to increase blood flow to the injured area. some medicine that should be applied only after the swelling goes down. haha, i applied it yesterday after my ankle was swollen, coz i figured it was just a milder form of the wet yellow THING. it has been thus proven that the yellow THING is to stop the swelling, and the other, more comfy one is to increase activity. so what i effectively did was to make blood rush to the broken capillaries in my ankle and increased the swell.

i think she has to be bled to decrease the swelling. it may take more than a month for it to go down.

bravo.

haiz. i'm starting to feel like really stupid. like what in the world. haiz. and my efficiency's finally picking up in studying. that's good. consdering i have a chem test tomorrow that i totally do not feel like studying for. chem equlibria and reaction kinetics. not safe to skip studying for. will read through the notes. tonight. i promise. haha.

don't feel up to blogging much.

OH! tml's my birthday. happy birthday to me...








1 more day to my birthday.
2 more days to yanliang's arrival.
10 more days to my grade 8 practical exam.

"sixteen going on seventeen"

oh cool, so they were published after all. bleargh. then there'll be like repeats. aiyah, heck care le la. to the pple out there, bear with the repeats yeah. lol.

fireworks

blogged once in the afternoon, but it refused to load. bloody hell. i'll keep this one short...

went to watch the fireworks just now, enjoyed the fireworks, but not really myself yeah. coz it was a bit awkward... haiz. i was like quiet a lot of the times, and enjoyed being quiet. talking on auto mechanism isn't fun. really. it sucks. coz i just wanted to be quiet.

there were so many people at marina square... haha, had to da bao then sit there and eat; just queueing up alone took about half an hour, or more... hmm, about eight tracks on my cd. haha. guess it would be mighty dumb to go alone, but somehow, i wished i had. to be alone in a crowd. that would feel so liberating. and it would have saved a lot of trouble that i'll rather not bring up. bleargh.

hm, yesterday went out with kel for a dinner then movie. haha, caught twin effects II. it's a good movie for the fun-loving, trust me on that. have good looking actors/actresses, humour, interesting characters, nice costumes. the plot is a bit simple la, but they had awesome concepts for weapons. real cool. haha. prolly won't work out in real life, but it's the kind of weapon a weiss kreuz RPG player would love to design. haha. awesome. and the humour, and feminism. lol. it's a bit gay ah, but it's definitely good. haha. not just to the yaoi lovers. even to the gay-haters, it's a movie that will make you love and hate the gayness in it.

hmm... then i think i'm starting to get dark rings le, coz chiong pw like siao the past few days. lol. only to have that ms chua person delay the deadline by ONE WEEK. almost went berserk. but i guess it;s a blessing in disguise. if we pia with the rest of the class, we'll be done with our second draft by the time they're done with their first. so that's good la. haha.

don't really have much to say, coz i ramble so much in the afternoon le. use up all my inspiration le. it's always like this. when you're frustrated or feel stongly about smth, you remember it. and when you've recorded it down, it just whooshes out of you. and you feel at ease and liberated from those thoughts. haha. which is why i 'blog' in my graffiti book now. haha. so prolly will just update time to time up here le, since whatever i feel strongly about will go in my graffiti book first... lol.

nothing much to say le...







3 more days to my birthday.
4 more days to yanliang's arrival.
12 more days to my grade 8 practical exam.

"you3 yi4 tian1 ni3 hui4 zhi1 dao4, ren2 sheng1 mei2 you2 wo3 bing4 bu2 hui4 bu4 tong2..."

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it always happens this way. whenever i don't make a copy of what i type, it refuses to load.

the above msg was sent in once without a copy made, and it didn't get through. i'm going to make a copy of this particular entry now. if it gets thru, i'm gonna seriously murder someone.

hate it when i make an effort to type an essay to update, then it doesn't get through. argh.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it always happens like this. whenever i don't make a copy of what i type, the comp will refuse to load the published page............. argh.

BLEARGH.

twin effects II -- a must watch for the fun loving

went a bit mad and bought the leslie cheung cd three days ago. like his songs... lol, especially the jin zhi yu ye soundtracks. haha. i'd say it's kel's credit and fault all at the same time. haha.

these past few days been bee-sy. bee-sy as a bee. haha. for weds, thurs and fri, i survived on a total of approximately eight hours of sleep in total. to all people out there who are losing sleep over work, or anything else, this is bad for health. nothing is worth this yeah, except maybe to make tidus and his team become stronger, and complete ffx asap. haha. but fact is, i haven't got much time to play... anyway, those three day's of lack of sleep were a curse and blessing at the same time. haha, coz we were the only group, i think, who submitted our written report draft one on friday. that ms chua person actually extended the deadline lor. by ONE WEEK. i was like BLEARGH!!! but then, on the other hand, by the time the rest get their first draft out, we'll be on our second draft le. so it's like a blessing in disguise.

went out with kel last evening for dinner and a movie in an early celebration of my birthday. haha. went to watch twin effects II. it was a good movie, in the sense that it had all the elements needed. but the plot was a bit simple la. haha. but there were good looking girls, good looking guys, humourous characterisations, nice costumes, lots of humour, and really gay sutff, like pink and purple armour. i think you should really really watch it if you want some fun. anyway, i enjoyed myself a lot, kudos to him. haha.

went home and got pretty upset by my father though. i can't believe what he said. upset me so much, i couldn't stop crying. bleargh. i hate my tear glands man. must be eyes too big le, then more area in contact with atmospheric air, make my eyes dryer easier. then naturaly must tear more lor. whatever. i just hate crying. makes me so helpless. sommore i woke up today with puffy eyelids. so ugly lor. i mean, it's prolly not visible. but i still think it looks ugly. heng no eyebags. haha. getting vainer by the day.

then i didn't realise that today is like three days from my birthday. haha. like got no big deal anymore. haha. BUT!!! yan liang's coming back in FOUR days. haha. let's hope he's free enough to come down to pa for prac on saturday. haha.

pa has quite a few newcomers. and we've got a new instructor!!! for the cellists and bassists. that's good. huang laoshi said he'd try to get a plucked-strings instructor too... didn't mention about the wind. haiz. haha. but nvm, sheng got me. haha. so ego all of a sudden. stephanie's really good too. picks up stuff real quick. and the other gaoyin sheng guy also pretty good. such a pity he can't read the manuscript, so must transcribe for him. yay. i can see the sheng dept slowly coming back up. hope there's another zhongyin sheng though... then 2,2 we'll be quite strong. haha. the dizi is a bit crap now though. qinglun and yuanxu are like supporting them all. mingwei he crap la, always never turn up for dazu, then xiaozu also sometimes got see him, sometimes nv see him. plus, xiaozu he's playing the gaoyin sheng lor. craaaaaaaaaaaaap. then rit, haiz, don't even feel like saying la. the xuan yue, i'm not really sure what's going of, then the pluscked strings is looking better and better each time i turn up. yay. haha.

guess that's all for the updates.







3 more days to my birthday
4 more days to yanliang's arrival.
12 more days to my grade 8 practical exam.

"為何你不懂　
只要有愛就有痛
有一天你會知道　
人生沒有我並不會不同"

bloody and blind

went for a photoshoot today. did battle royale... lol. i know the usefulness of a bloody, injured, vulnerable-LOOKING girl in photoshoots le. especially when half the people around have weapons they can use to kill you with. somehow, i didn't remember dying so much, but, there turned out to be quite a large number of pictures with me, on my back or on my side, dead, on the grassy grounds of botanic gardens. whatever la. haha.

had loads of fun, took loads of pics. 34 megs from zephy, 35 megs from elmo, a few megs from me, approx 100+ pics from shiro. and counting. but sadly, my cam's memory died on me half an hour into the photoshoot la. like i really dont' understand how my dad can use up 100 megs of space taking pictures of machines for his report. 100 megs leh. no joke. haiz... i hardly had space la, only took like 36 pics on my cam. pathetic.

my costume consisted of a bloody white rg shirt, hwachong skirt, a red tie (which, since tessie forgot to bring, was subbed by a black tie), bandage around one eye, bandage around left wrist, and a scythe which is translucent. for once i decided to be so self absorbed that i'll take loads of pics with myself... and those existed in zeph's cam, since my cam died and i stuck largely with tess... 've been more and more self-absorbed lately in cosplay. cosfest, i took loads of pics too.

today's event was at botanics. tessie went as reno, ino went as yuna, sk as kyo, zeph as omeda (sp) , and others as others. can't match names to faces... met so many new pple today. haha, good good... cosplay is opening up real quick. i heard that there are more private phtoshoots being planned. lol. previously, a single photoshoot took blardy long to organise and were so so infrequent. good good.

oh, check out my ultra-limited photos here. kudos to tess for uploading it. ^.^

dunno what more to say... today was so. indescribable. haha. hard to put a cosplay experience in words, i guess... i think i just miss cosplay and photoshoots so so much.







8 more days to my birthday.
9 more days to yanliang's arrival.
17 more days to my grade 8 practical exam.

three against 1... not fair!

fallen from grace (literally)

twisted my ankle. bleargh. it seems that the prophecy must be fulfilled. been the third year running that i twisted it le. uncanny. haha.

hmm... homecoming... that was saturday... i was pretty slack, and to be honest, i agree with meishi's (which is most pple's) view that i would rather spend all my coupons on food... and i generally did la. lol. made this long black cloak. supposed to be some mysterious being carrying the flag, but because it's totally impossible to walk without taking care that you're not stepping on the cloak, and the flag is so darn tall you can't carry it indors properly, we decided to walk in threes, one to carry the flag, one to give out flyers, and one more to play the mysterious phenomena. haha. hopefully it was successful. from what i have gathered, there was no crowd , but an endless stream of people... lol. and the best of it all, the $50 marche voucher didn't go to anyone! yay. haha. thought the carnival would be some kind of flop, coz hwa chong doesn't have the tradition of holding carnivals. but i guess it turned out pretty well. lol. there were lots of people. and our stall was, ta-da! successful. there were people playing even after we stopped business. haha.

then for the mass dance i couldn't get a partner, so ended up dancing with zhihua. yay! thanks darling *muackz* haha, i know now where to look when i need a partner le. haha. didn't manage to get a ticket into the haunted house though... what a pity.

hmm... interesting stuff... oh, haha. joseph thought yuxi was pissed off with him, so he went to get her a flower. quite interesting to see yuxi's reaction, especially since she wasn't pissed in the first place. lol.

that was saturday.

sunday i went down to the nanyang ke shu to practice for some performance i'm helping out at. haha, the people there all very nice. but all like lao qian bei already (albeit most of them don't really do quite as well as the payco pple). their enthusiasm for CO is realy really admirable. haha, that's what happens when you're old, rich and have lotsa time on your hands. very nice to see that these people are still interested in CO. hmm... wah, when i went there, they looked so impressed that this *small skinny little girl* can actually play the zhongyin sheng. even set up my sheng for me lor... feel so guilty. those people are like at least two and a half times my age la. feel damn bad... but those people really really nice. then during break still got roasted chicken, roasted duck, soon kueh, png kueh, buah duku, rambutan, and i think something more... really really a lot of food. haha. and yenchien said it was little compared to what they used to have. haha. then me and kah yong both agreed that it was the first time in our lives that we actually ate png kueh and soon kueh held in our hands... a first, man. haha.

hmm... oh i got a new ps2 over the weekend, so now a bit siao... got time then play. crazy lor. such a distraction. tsk tsk. i must must must learn how to play naruto properly. and FFX will not go incompleted. haha. see? like this how?

monday, we went to JE library to do pw. had the longest meeting and the most productive meeting ever. which was good. at the top floor, there was this malay lady who was deejaying on the mixer. damn cool. haha. learned a bit about deejaying techniques from her. after the promos, if i have the tme, i'll go down and learn man. haha. it's damn cool la. hmm... what else. oh i had my first laughing fit in a long long long time when i was at the library, discussing how people pigged out on fast food. haha. was very very easily tickled that night and the day after. cannot make it.

tuesday. then wednesday. that was yesterday.

had FoS. which was real fun, until i fell of course. hmm... at first we played netball... which was like, really fun. in the first fifteen minutes, the gorilla girls and the idiot boys (that was incidentally, how we formed our teams) tied with the seniors, 1 to 1. kaoz. i was a gorilla girl la... haha. played WA. hope i didn't do too lousy a job guarding shuyun. lol. is fun fun fun. then the idiot girls and the gorilla guys went to play. did an awesome job, if i must say. i think the seniors got quite a trashing. haha. but it was a good game.

then we played basketball. all the games, we got trashed. haha. first game was the mixed team. which plaed to the best of their abilities. unfortunately there was the existence of zhe min. kaoz, he damn tall lor, keep gai-ing huo guo. wah... playing with the giant. haha. then was the all girls team. i was playing on it. played quite well, i hope, still played along the wings la. maybe i'm like cut out for it. *smirks* haha. ego ego. then of course la, i fell while dribbling the ball... kaoz. i'm like such a graceful girl la, twisted ankle le how can be graceful? not fallen from grace is what? haha. delusional. haha.

sitting at home now with no one else around, feeling bored, with my ankle wrapped in a white bandage that's turnin more yellow by the minute with the brown medication that burns. sian lor. and i had to get my cramps. how sucky. going to chiong naruto after this man. i'm like sian la, coz i can't play the piano properly, and my exam is coming up soon.









13 days to my birthday.
14 days to yanliang's arrival.
22 days to my grade 8 practical exam.

qi2 shi2 mei3 ge4 ren2 xiang1 tong2, xi3 huan2 de4 zhi3 shi4 ai4 qing2 de2 lian3 kong3.

red

lol, wonder if mr. lee's gonna read this. haha, did something totally crazy today -- i highlighted my hair. red highlights. counted. prolly about nine streaks or smth... very faint in normal room lighting. hope i don't get caught during morning assmebly or smth... prolly shouldn't even be talking about it here... sweatz. but it's like really faint (unless under bright light), and really little... haha. this is called the guilt trip. zuo4 zei2 xin1 xu1. haha.

yesterday, i found out most unfortunately that the nationals for canoe polo were say, two weeks away. and there were a grand total of four slots before the nationals. and that there was no mixed category. and that coaching fees were $60 PER SESSION. er hem. yeah. that makes our canoe polo course kind of impossible. haiz.

well, there's always the SRRR (singapore river raft race) next february. heard that canoe polo's gonna be one of the main events. will ty to push for that. gives us time to train properly. haha. but it's still quite a pity that canoe polo's pushed off again. i mean, it's not just quite a pity. haiz. was looking forward to it so much.

hm... this sat is homecoming. then after that immediately have to head down to pa for ensemble pract. how fun is that. then sunday got to head down to nanyang ke shu for pract and measurement taking. am guest performing for the performance on the 31st Oct. yay. they are playing the flying apsaras (is that how it's spelled?). lol. the name's funny. everytime i read it on the synopsis, i'll read "flying asparagus". haha, used to think why such a grand piece got such a lousy name. flying asparagus indeed... lol.

hm... got spa tml... but ran through the info with JD on the phone just now le, then waking up earlier tml to revise a bit more. pw's killing me. i saw the teacher's comments and almost just keeled over and died. there's so much more to do... type out the minutes, reorganise the file, fake some stuff that we forgot for old old minutes, conduct and consolidate interview and survey responses, find more secondary sources, colour code the present sources, re-do the evaluations. and hopefully all done and submitted to the teacher by next thrusday together with the first draft of our written report. good grief, how are we supposed to finish all of these?

plus all the overdue work (that's my problem). and econs remedial (gosh i can hate her so much sometimes).

how am i going to ever finish what i have to do? monday is already dedicated to work. i wonder how many days off the five-day-long weekend next week will i have to take to do my work.

sianz.

 

 

 

20 more days to my birthday.
21 more days to yanlinags arrival.
29 more days to my grade 8 practical exam.

"the booty lies in store me mate, sail seek and plunder."