cool man. meishi intro'ed me to this cool game. haha. it's pretty cool. i got it in less than five minutes. tell me how you did ne?

.::the game::.

.::an introduction to the game... contains clues::.

have fun!!!

some times, i don't even understand why i can say so such, so freely online, on a public blog... it's like, dump, and ignore. haha. wanted to erase all of that. but i made a pact with myself, never to alter the contents of my blog. coz if i was willing to type it out at first, i should let it be... if i was going to alter what i wrote, i might as well not keep a blog... haha. kinda regretted typing out the last post...

uh... the last time i blogged was... tuesday........ riiiiiight.

hmm. let's see.

on wednesday, we had a physics lecture... quite chiat lat lah... it was the diagnostic test... and i'm very very sure that the teachers' objective in carreer is to make the students feel stupid... haiz. the last few questions had to tikum... like godammit man the questions cannot even make intelligent guesses that kind. or maybe i'm stupid, coz maybe the rest can do it. see??? if the teachers could read this, they'd be so happy. i bet. and i made like darn careless mistakes. hm... how about... the SI unit for mass is gram... *dsh* then we had this CT lecture thing. learned about the history of the school. or rather what happened before we got this campus... hm... spent most of the time writing letters to my angel and kian wee [my mortal]... hope he doesn't just coincidentally walk by here.

which reminds me. THE ANGEL MORTAL BOXES GOT CLEARED BY THE TEACHERS!!!! garh!!!

okay. then on thursday... we had a chem lecture during which the teacher went through the lecture notes with us... there was this whole section on whether the "balanced" equations were true or false... and the teacher damned mao one leh... like, one third of the equations were wrong coz there were NO STATE SYMBOLS... haiz. in the end, when the lecturere just asked why is this statement wrong? everyone chanted "no state symbol..." kaoz. then the lecture ended at nine twenty... then had the SPA talk... which was pretty crap. the teacher basically plonked the notes onto powerpoint and presented it. hm. dozed off. then coz i have this funny habit of putting my jacket hood on, KJ keep called me xie pai... haiz.

then went to PA for the CHINGAY prac. nothing much to say lah. reached home at eleven plus.

then friday leh... that's yesterday. generally wasn't in a too good mood lah. but basically what happened was... we had a comp lecture as our first elcture... which starts at twelve, incidentally. was at the library reading my she diao, then wee leong [uncle leong] ask us to go down to the class bench. coz apparently mr sam lee [ah sam] had an important announcement.... meishi would be celebrating her seventeenth birthday tomorrow [ie. today]. haha, so everyone wished her happy birthday. and presented her with the card with all our signatures on it. i wrote "celebrating our 5th anniversary" [actually it's only the beginning of the 5th year lah... haha] and wished her happy birthday. hm... then after that just hung around at the class bench then went for comp lecture before math lecture... for which we had our tutorials to do. then very guai coz i actually started on and finished half of it during the time we sat around in shcool waiting for the time to leave for PA.

then quite apparently i had five moody periods yesterday... first, at the library; second, before the lectures; thirdly, while waiting to leave; fourth before prac started; fifth, after prac ended. jotted down my feelings on a piece of foolscap lah... didn't blog yesterday mah.. but if i had, it would look like this.


- not in a good mood at all...

- i like the perch post overlooking the field... it's about a floor up. big wind. nice.

- it's lousy to have nothing to do and nothing to say to the pple around you. will it be worse if it had been a person i felt more than friendship for? it's bad enough when it's a class you thought you'd formed bonds with, just to realise that you were drifting apart... and drifting alone.

- i want to attend the Dramafeste audition, i want to attend the huang cheng audition... i want to do so many things. there is no time. do i just give up on even trying? yes i do. pathetic. fuck everything and run... back to a schedule i want to change. and watch everyone take the opportunity i left behind.

- very nice. so now, they decide to have practices on mondays... two mondays. one for chingay, one for istana park. both very important. and i purposely shifted my lessons from friday to MONDAY so i could attend those ensemble practices. very very pissed at everything. don't know why... i feel like crying. so pissed.

- and i don't even know at what, at whom, i'm pissed.

- crossed the road so recklessly just now. i think i shocked abel they all a bit. paced myself so i won't get knocked over, obviously. but what if a car had decided to speed up? would i mind as much as i think, or i hope, i would?

- why are people misliked? why is the sky blue? why are there ostracised people in the world? hm... is society just a gathering of people ostracised by those they think they ostracise?

- fuck it all man.


haha... obviously wasn't in too good a mood. and yes, i would very very much mind if any car knocked me down, thank you. haha. went to sleep feeling so angry with the world. so it was quite late when i left mac's after dinner. about eleven thirty. then i went down to marina bay mrt station and hitched a ride home from gong gong. i think it's a maternal ability to know when your child is unhappy. mummy was like... wow... the whole ride home she didn't ask what went on... and why i was so quiet or anything. feels so nice to just have her silent support and her arm around my shoulder.

but the day wasn't that bad lah... i think the bad moods come from an aftermath of high-ness plus sian-ness. afterall, between the periods of bad moods, i had experienced highs... but they are kinda negated by my mood swings... haha

today, there was no PAYCO prac, so went to school to paint the class banner. hmm... then paint for about three plus hours then went home... half the journey i spent with xiao yi... with whom i mostly talked about CO and hmm... partners... haha. we were like discussing what we would like to see in our partners... hmm... what a weird topic. then we met justin on the train. seems like he lives in boon lay... haha. one heading west, one heading east and one heading north when we splitted. then xiao yi was very fei... he was like "justin is a good boy... he seems to be able to match up with your expectations of a guy. jia you... he's a good choice..." bah... like, what the hell, i know only his name man... haha. if you're reading this, yan liang, xiao yi said the same thing about you. haha.

hm... then came home, slack around, then came online... hm... i better go off now, if i ever hope to be able to get online later in the night to find pple chat. oh... and must oso do my tutorial le.








"you know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is chinese, the swiss holds the america's cup, fance is accusing the u.s. of arrogance, germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in america are named "bush", "dick" and "colon". need i say more?

blogging at home after another sian day... this morning ah... had a math lecture first thing in the morning. siao bo. the teacher jumped straight in, not that we couldn't handle in equalities lah, just that it thoroughly woke me up form my blissful state of fluttering blur mind.

the class isn't that bad after some interaction... but the tempo very de slow... and the girls very formal. except for these two nanyang girls. a bit scary. and still got some pple in the class i still cannot recognise. today i actually told this girl from our class that she was taking lecture notes from the wrong pile while she told me i was taking from the wrong pile. quite apparently, we were classmates, but neither of us knew... so pai seh.

the class is alright lah. can talk with a few of them. some of them can't even recognise. must jia you a bit and know them better. *pastes determined look on face*

the computing class is... all boys *dsh*... except for me, meishi and yang yu. only three girls out of a class of twenty... and there were more pple taking my combi than i expected. good. and there is a lot more that i don't know enough of than i expected. bad.

then chem lecture today... the teacher a bit fierce, thought esther tan look sweet would be sweet oso, just like ester... but then, a bit fierce only. then today spring a diagnostic test on us. unlike physics... tell us two days in advance. but oso no use... i haven't studied for it. then the stupid chem test... out of twenty-five questions, there are like... five? six? questions that i'm not very sure of... kaoz.

hope tml's phys test not that bad...







"they lived in a strange foreign world of love, that i envied, but could not understand-- and would never enter."

blogging in school currently. the first day in school proved to be rather disappointing. goodness, i almost died when the teacher announce that my first lecture, the physics lecture would be at 1320hrs. what the hell?! i mean... haiz... so god damn bored.

but today a bit guai4 guai4 de4. come to school and i felt so lousy. like, when i met my CT mates of S61, it was like, suddenly felt so detached, yet still quite attached. and then i thought i'd go look for xiao yi and mei shi and i saw them hanging out with their classmates that i actually felt very intrusive when i talked to them. and worse still, when i saw mei shi there was this inexplicable sense of anger. though i kinda sorted it out le... it's like,i mentioned the class's double standards right? i never expected meishi to ask me to curb my enthusiasm. call me petty, but i'm still hung up over that. i feel quite hurt actually. i mean, thrown into a new environment, and the person you expect to support you just goes with the double standards of the class. then felt quite cold also. i think my presence is like very extra liddat. feel quite uncomfortable around the class. especially when this guy just walked up and called meishi "lao da" [partially coz of the skit, i think]. they already gen1 classmates da3 cheng2 yi2 pian4 le... then i'm like so extra. tessie and everyone keeps telling me i ought to at least try to mix. i also know, but just... haiz. the impact of switching classes never hit me this badly before.

well, what can i do, i can either try or fry, right? and currently, i'm in the school library, using a booked computer, watching an extra window that cannot be moved aside, ticking, 0chour 47 min 52 sec left...








"you are only given one spark of madness. don't lose it."

hmm... today is sunday. another slacker day.

my sundays seem to be slacked away one, occasionally doing something, otherwise i'll just die in front of the comp.

yesterday ah, i went down to PA for the first time in three weeks. meaning i missed two practices le. then very sian. didn't get to talk to many pple, not even to yen chien or joel. in fact i think i only spoke to xiao yi and the comm pple and lao shi. go down there, vera give me four sets of new scores for the instana park performance. i went through two of them, then after that, went off with tsu yang, chong wu, yong hui and joyce to print scores. heard so many complaints from chong wu... quite apparently, lao shi had only given him the full list of songs on wednesday and wanted everything to be collected and photocopied by saturday. and tsu yang was down at the office printing for five hours and had only managed to get it half done. then when they came down on saturday earlier to print, lao shi suddenly wanted all the twenty three songs to be compiled, so that each person gets a compiled set of scores. the good news was, compiling was an uncomplicated task though ultra-tedious, the bad news was, some of the scores had been distributed and there was no way we could get them back without utter cunfusion. then even better liao, we had to reprint them. then me and yonghui knelt on the floor for about two and a half hours and sorted out the scores. and lao shi was damn pissed off coz we weren't fast enough. and he was like, why print so long still not done? but compiling was a huge process and there was no way we could give him any portion of the scores. coz we had to retain them to compile them properly. it was an all or nothing situation. and he wanted all in a short time... pretty much impossible. such that chongwu was like, i don't want to see his face. let's go back only after he has left. *sweat*. i can fully understand why xinying says that when you are a part of the comm, you don't get to practice anymore. especially the scores-in-charge.

i thought we were quite spoonfeeding the orchestra. usually, it would be just print print print, distribute, then you are responsible for making sure that you have all the scores, if you don't, go to your sectional leader, and she/he will check it out for you. joyce mentioned something, "i don't know what is going on man. when i was the sectional leader, i was printing and making sure everyone in my section had scores. now i'm the scores-in-charge, i'm still printing and compiling and making sure everyone has scores. what is the sectional leader doing?" haha. partly true. but then, this is what you've got to put up with man. hopefully i can get used to it sooner.

but it was a little unfair lah, considering that we have five pple in our comm who are still undergoing their orientation in the JC and it is impossible to make time out of the orientation. all of us were reaching home each day at eleven. and we were given two days to print twenty-three times four sets of scores and and hour to compile it all. and not being on task earned us a black face... haha, but it's all over and pray this will not happen again next year. thanks to xinying and grace who took time out to help us out and share with us their experience of compilaton. haha. i think it's just the beginning of the year when there is so much going on and so little time to handle it all.

this coming week is only lectures and no tutorials, so we're pretty lucky. the HCJC'ians lah, that is. so there should still be enough time for me to handle all the extra practices. when there comes a time that i can't make it anymore... i seriously have no idea man. school will alwys be my first priority, but what about laoshi... haha.

headache man.

oh then i went down to marina south with the AS team and the GGXX team for dinner. very nice. never hear wendy make so many crude jokes before one. in the end, our table was like, damn hentai. me and tessie we were still playing around with puns and stuff, but then wendy was like wow. she didn't even bother with puns lorh. make until me and tessie almost blushing le. then very qiao. naifen and 04S60 and 03S60 also there. haha, naifen very good at advertising. first time is with the chui da outing then they came to marina south to eat. then when their class gathering oso go steamboat, then he oso come and eat. haha, very nice. or maybe it's just the special price. haha. but anyway, kudos to him. it's still for the good of chong pang

p.s. wah... a bit whiny when you look at it man. and a bit too many complains le... *sweat*








"this is my story. it'll go the way i want, or i'll end it here."