haha, sorry for the vulgarities in the previous post... i was in a awful mood. flew into this rage sometime after the break, before computing started. nearly had a nervous breakdown in math lect after i typed the previous post in comp lect. dunno why, in such a bad mood, the moment i stepped into the canteen. maybe it's all the catching up, late nights and stuff... i mean, i only missed one math lect and suddenly i can't understand the teacher, though when i looked back at it, it should have been perfectly comprehensible to me... like, what the hell. haiz. stress. and i'm going to miss so many lessons sommore... gonna have so much fun catching up.

meishi, wee leong and filbert are all dropping computing for econs. i... have nothing to say about this. i mean, what can i say that will prolly even make the slightest difference? it's their choice, afterall. and i suddenly realise that computing and econs are really just words that appear in my life everyday. they don't mean a single thing. i mean, computing, i feel smth for it, lah, after taking it for one and a half months... but sometimes, i wonder what i'm doing in the comp lab. and else times, i look at the econs pple and wonder what the hell they are doing. life is usually just a blur of tutorials and lectures... i mean, the way my head is now, it prolly is like this, but i guess i'll feel differently in another mood.

they are successfully training me to become a loner. i don't know why, but recently, i find myself liking those quiet moments by myself more and more. i mean, i'd get crazy like i always do, but i really enjoy sitting by myself and just reading or stoning. it's a great way to relax. and a very effective way to get into depressive moods too... but nonetheless, still great. haha. and i still feel very detached... from 04S68 and 04S61, both. like, i just don't fit and it makes no difference to anyone if i do anyway. haha, odd things.

yesterday, went for the pre-admission tests for my hospitalisation next wed to friday. they took four tubes of my blood, god-dammit. but it wasn't as painful as i thought it would, though my arm was pretty sore after it. the flesh around it all swelled up slightly... hm... then wednesday was X-country. managed to squirm my way out of running. haha. don't think i'll be able to make it without risking a palpitation attack. then for two evenings, i went out and shopped for v-day's gifts. and finally, after some last minute deco last night, i rushed out enough to handle today. chong wu's tsu yang's and half the gumi's isn't finished... haiz. hm.. and some clever guy decided to help me distribute my chocs around. so i suddenly found myself at a lack of chocs, which means i'll have to top up my supply a little, tml. hm.

then had the first pre-camp session today. made us run around, thank goodness not much, then the pre-camp like ncc training like that. such formal roll-calls. but since it's Youth Leadership Training Camp, i guess they are trying to keep us more disciplined or smth. haha.

my team has like, three obelix members, that's wu hui, zi jian and me. wish there were more insane pple. like jian da or wei leong, or jang or huijie. hm. how about this. wish it were the entire obelix... the guys are atrocious. the pple i wish i wouldn't encounter are all in my team. kailong, shiwei and justin. and zi jian is just starting to show his lame side. and they are the disruptive kind of lame. can't ever get a proper discussion going. made me scold so many vulgarities in front of them. haha, but all out of fun lah. hm... i think i'll get used to it lah. i mean, i couldn't stand the s7 mugger's cucumber antics at first either. hm. either i live in agony or i live in joy. i'd choose the latter. hm.

the guys are damn scary. hm.

don't have much to say. wasn't in too great a mood, so today was quite sian.






"salaam." -- may you have peace.

FUCK!!!!!

tired. sick. confused. lost.

life rocks. and mine has just reached the peak. if i could, i'd have... argh. nevermind.

i mean. aw fuck it.



just fuck it all.

obelix is f-i-n-e fine,
down the l-i-n-e line,
so we l-o-v-e love them all the t-i-m-e time.

obelix is b-e-s-t best,
among the r-e-s-t rest,
so we l-o-v-e love them all the t-i-m-e time.

OBELIX!!!

yay.

just got back home from orientation hike. feel so... so... sooooooooo great. mmm... i love my team. obelix pple, you guys ROCK!

the tree.

*snickers* private joke, private joke.

went for OAC's OH 2004 yesterday. turned up ins chool early in the morning with a nicely packed backpack, to realise that we had to repack everything into 3 haversacks... haha. then packed it into girls' stuff, boys' stuff and foodstuff. the grils bag was not the heaviest, miraculously. the food bag was. thank you jian da and wu hui, for carrying it the whole way. *bows low*.

[the hike up]

played a number of games. quite fun. there was this one-dot game called "hi, harry". so it gets a tad confusing and if you say something wrongly, you get a dot of toothpaste on your face and congrats! you have just been promoted from hairy to one-dot. and if you say something wrong again, you get promoted from one-dot to two-dot. haha. damn fun. and there were these dogs where we were playing it. this one black one that had its mouth hanging open the whole time and trying to bite something. and not in the ferocious way. it'd just come up to you sweetly and open it's mouth, pant, and try to bite. really. one never realises how afraid of something one is, until they come face to face with it in an unexpected situation. hmm... i remember clutching on to wu hui and nearly freaked out totally when the dog just snuck up behind me. she was like... "don't look, it's right behind you..." scary. then there ware other things too, like playing murderer.

[the team]

that's OBELIX, ya get it? there were these other teams called asterix, cacofonix, dogmatic, vitix [vitalstatistix, i think], and getafix. haha, so cute. OBELIX was the best spirited team. i heard we woulda gotten best team if we hadn't lost some items, but then no one else qualified, so there was no best team this year. a look at our team shows a great balance between the yin and the yang. we have seven girls and four guys. great. so the seven girls get the eight-men tent and the guys get the five-men tent. the guys were great pple and the girls were great pple too. and ARE. i mean, they are all super enthu. haha. the guys took longer to warm up tho', but it makes no difference. at the end of the day, they were still belting out our songs. haha. quite sad we never got the best item award, but we got the best spirit and best song. haha. and we produced a best actress. haha, that's yours truly, from a short mimicry of smeagol in the play... hm. it seems overused, by me. everytime i'm involved in a play with LoTR involved, i'd be smeagol some way or another.

hope OBELIX will stay in the same group for YLTC.

[illegal operation]

we had this wonderful hike in the forest blindfolded and a mudbath blindfolded, leaving us totally soaked with mud... there was supposed to be this dip in the quarry. the catch is: the quarry is OBS territory. dipping in the quarry is illeghal. and trespassing is also incidentally illegal. hm. and OBELIX was the team heading for the quarry when the police squad came to patrol. fun, right? we had to squat in a line in the forest, to hide from the polices' eyes, under the command of our instructors [who were just our seniors, btw.]. and we had to run, crouched down, keep in total silence, keep to the trees... felt like illegal immigrants. haha. but it was rather exciting and fun. the prospect of being illegal immigrants is awesome. if we are sure we won't get fines, that is... haha. very fun.

[the campfire]

we sang campfire songs, and danced the friendship dance... and one thing to note, there are really really REALLY enthu guys in OAC. and when you dance the friendship dance with them, they have the tendency to fling you off the ground... brr. scary. well, that one guy got the best actor award, playing gandalf... haha. damn fun... it's the first really real campfire i've been to, what with campfire games and campfire songs... nice.

[the night activities]

we had a solo walk... quite nice. some pple found it scary. it was just a stroll through the forest in the middle of the night with a slight mist at my feet, in pools of blue moonlight, enjoying the nice scenery of ferns and shrubs and trees. it's a very nice walk. really. then we had talks and games of "polar bear" outside the tents... and you guys call me a lousy polar bear. you never figured me out the second round i was polar bear, wasn't even listed on the burning list... haha. but it's damn fun. then we wanted to have a cultural exchange, ie. card playing session... but half the guys fell asleep the moment they got into their tent. lousy. haha. i like the names we give our activites and foodstuff. chewing gum would be earthworms, lollipops would be flowers and chocolates would be grass... like codenames liddat. haha.

[dinner and breakfast]

our food seems neverending. haha. we had a great dinner composing of maggi mee, sausages, tuna, curry chicken and mmmm... campbell soup... so nice... and breakfast, we had two spreads, sausages, two diff kinds of bread, cookies, biscuits and such. wonderful pple dump wonderful food on us. not to mention the whole lot of sweets and snacks we had. so nice...

[the hike back and the pageant]

the hike back was almost as noisy as the hike up, if not noisier. so nice. and we rolled down the slope on top of one another, until jang twisted her ankle... then we just continued our walk down. on the way, we nominated [jian da, again, who was as before, by a unanimous decision, our scapegoat. good work!] a miss ubin... and gosh. he was... daring. goodness, bordered a little on obscenity, if i would say... scary. it's indescribable...

hmm... got so much more to say, but no time... got so much so much i'd like to share, but i think by reading, you'd prolly not understand what it feels like to dip illegally in a quarry, taking a full powder bath with a bunch of pple you hardly know, having mass-pee sessions and much much more... haha. wish you coulda been there...

tired.







"days of planning. weeks of building. months of perfecting. seconds of smashing."